10 Ways Partners Can Grow Together
But in the long run, changing – or trying to change – who you are will spell nothing but trouble if the change isn't authentic and natural.
Commit to Growth
We're taught early in life to do things that make us comfortable. It's only natural. But if you want to be great, you can't stay in your comfort zone, particularly if the status quo isn't adding up to much. Self-worth shouldn't be dependent on the success or personal accolades, or else your desire to stay in your comfort zone will lead you to the grave. Chew on this… The average lifespan is 77 years old. People with the heart of a swimmer are the only people who survive swimming for 17 hours through a frozen lake. The more comfortable you are in your routine, the more likely you are to live a mediocre life.
Expand Your Interests
As you do, put yourself in a position to expand your interests. Say yes to more activities and friendships outside of the current friend circle. Ask a new friend to dinner, take a yoga class, have a picnic, join a book club, or join a group of online gamers. One friend of mine loves tennis, so I signed her up for a lesson at a local tennis club. This friend was thrilled and is now attending the tennis league every week. Diversify Your Friends and Family Another friend of mine was really into college sports and had a group of friends with whom he went to games and spent many an afternoon tailgating at college football games. The friends he hung out with within his hometown, however, were not as interested in football, so they weren't his primary friends.
Take Care of Yourself
Not even a relationship can withstand major changes if the other party isn't aware of them. One way to start is by checking in with yourself every now and then to see what's the state of your health right now. Is your new year filled with a need to improve certain areas of your life or your relationship? Step out of the social media house. There are plenty of studies that prove the harmful effects of social media on the brain. Get out, stay out and surround yourself with people who actually make you a better person. You'll be happier about it, trust me! Seek Out New Support New relationships require new support systems. There's no point in being needy. And being needy – and suspicious – often spurs suspicion.
Build Momentum
The very best of partnerships are built on trust and faith, a solid foundation of mutual love and respect. When both people trust one another, they are willing to trust their instincts and make decisions with that inner feeling. They won't second guess themselves and they will be unafraid to try new things – even risky things – without worrying about the consequences. Research has found that a sense of trust is linked with better health, lower stress levels, and increased vitality. The same is true for professional relationships – trust generates more transparency and more meaningful communication, and that's why strong partnerships flourish. Use Your Power When two people have equal power, the relationship feels more like a relationship and less like a business deal.
Show Your Partner Your Appreciation
If your partner hasn't shown you in any way that they value you, the best thing you can do is take the initiative to make sure they know how much they mean to you. Each day, don't wait for your partner to ask for your help. Instead, initiate the helping – by offering to run an errand for your partner, doing the dishes, or taking a walk with them. In so doing, you'll show your partner that you really do value their support and care. You can't change the nature of who you are or be the same person you were yesterday. Even the greatest change in who we are or how we live must begin with a change in how we show appreciation to the people in our lives.
Show Your Partner Your Love
This is something I learned from reading Michael Corcoran's brilliant book, Perfect Partners: Discover How to Build a Lasting Relationship While You Still Have One. Relationships, as Mr. Corcoran says, are a partnership. And like a business relationship, the partnership has three different types of stakeholders. The key is that these stakeholders aren't just there to build the business but to build and grow the relationship. That means to be happy in a partnership, you must make it a priority to show your partner that you love them and value the relationship. As an example, my husband gets mad at me, and he needs a few days before he realizes what the problem was. But at least we're moving in the right direction.
Share Your Thoughts
In the coming months, we'll share a lot more about how to cultivate life-long success through authenticity. If you have questions about how to lead your business, contact us to ask about our Certified Process-Driven Entrepreneur Certificate program.
Support Your Partner
I remember a friend who once said that a marriage needs at least two people, and one of them should be of the same mind and purpose. Her husband-to-be said he'd definitely agree with that, but his own viewpoint was a bit different. The rest of their marriage was a study in contrast as she adapted his idea and came to see the benefits. Marriage is supposed to be two people coming together, but our culture makes it sound like it's two people trying to see who can do the most for their marriage, or who can give more to it. It's much better to recognize that we'll both bring something to the marriage, and to recognize and embrace each other's strengths. Expect Relationship Changes Marriage is, for better and for worse, a journey of change and growth.
Show Your Partner Your Belief in Them
So what if you're embarrassed about being vulnerable and insecure? What if your partner doesn't get how deeply your love for them runs? Turn off your insecurity and the insecurity of the world around you, and simply focus on letting your partner know you believe in their skills, and that you believe they can achieve their dreams. "Think of how beautiful it will be to watch your partner achieve their goals, and to simply cheer them on without fear of judgment. You're free to believe in them as they believe in themselves. They can do it. And they will," explains Russel Mast. Define What's 'One-Sided' Conversation therapy is, by design, not a game, and winning and losing isn't a game either.
Conclusion
I hope you never need to use these tips, but I'd be interested to hear how things turned out for you. Do you still love your partner after you've made changes in your behavior? For the sake of our ability to keep our families, relationships, and our hearts healthy, we have to keep the good things in our lives while keeping the bad things out. We have to stay in touch with ourselves, feel a desire to make positive changes, and have the patience and courage to keep trying different approaches. If I can ever make it to the hospital, I'll let you know.
